DMT Birth

After changing my mind 20 times about whether to do it again or not, I shut all the blinds in my room, opening the windows. Mentally I tried to prepare myself for what was to come (useless in effort, as much as you think you will be prepared it always shatters you). 

4 seconds after inhaling I felt I had just got struck by lightening. I quickly put my bong down and I felt the electricity flowing through me and heard the buzzing and crackling. The walls started immediately slithering with geometric snake like tripomatic alien patterns, jeweled and washed-out neon. Immediate panic-fear set it. It was as if a deep rooted emotional terror has seized me. There were snake alien insect flowers, and I felt the buzzing. I started having strong doubts about doing it again, I was thinking shit shit shit why why did I take this again, and panic set in that instant. I thought the only way I could get through this was to try and relax and wait for it to be over, try and avoid  going into the same hellish nightmare as the first time. I mustered up everything I still had not to give into the panic. 

The sensation of dissolving, merging into another space, another time, melting into a

 dimensional hole, an indentation into the fabric of reality, dislocating me from my body and notions of ordinary space and time. 

I am in the pocket of the infinity of all moments. Damit damit damit its only been 7 seconds into this trip and I am already more overwhelmed than I can handle. The patters still swimming and swirling rapidly, in amazingly clear focus. They are buzzing and gyrating at dizzying speeds with endlessly complex hemispherical concave surfaces that are composed of millions of thousandths of discrete elements, this is liquid light, impossible geometric elements. 

Everything is constantly intermorphing in brilliant forms and impossible formations. Neo-christmas octopus plam trees in a disco hurricane whiplashing at heightening speeds all about you relentlessly. They are turning inside out, breaking into millions of sub-parts, and then reforming into something new and even more exquisite. This is GEOMETRIC MAYHAM! Very chaotic but clear.

All I could think was Dam dam dam DAMIT Hope, how did you honestly think you could handle it this time! Every moment was hyper-orchestrated, and now I quickly realize that I am gracefully, painfully, methodically, unbearably breaking every logical and conceptual taboo in the universe. I wish more than anything to quickly abort the trip and be around something recognizable. 

JESUS CHRIST why on earth did I do this. This all but 15 seconds of this 12 minute vacation out of this world and its already way too much. I thought to myself I would try and embrace this as much as I could. The most impossible configurations of meaning started unfolding and morphing like a tornado of converged realities. This has shattered my all preconceptions about EVERYthing I ever thought I knew in this world. I am entering DMT hyperspace. 

Ontological dynamite has gone off in my brain...Total carnage of self, casualties strewn about from the implosion into this hyperspace. The wounded preconceptions and decapitated belief systems that constructed my previous reality were in a make-shift emergency triage inside my mind. There were parts of my subconscious desperately scurrying around hopelessly trying to patch holes and sew the appendages back onto my normal reality construct. These self-repair fragments were busy saying "Oh, don't look over here!" as some of the worst victims were being covered by sheets to shield me from even more shock.

OK ok ok I must try and forget about this and turn my attention back to the outp

ourings of the light-speed alien novelty circus. There is unexplainable hyper-detailed energy all around and within me. The behaviours and motions observed in this reality are so unfathomably incomprehensibly different, beyond different! Like live volcano's of other information from another universe erupting raw-magma code into the matrix of my mind. I realized that this was the space, in-between the spaces. The code behind the matrix. DMT has taken me to a place that is the center of all of creation. The chaos that was there- before God created matter. It felt like I would be like this until THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.

I have to find a new zen level to deal with this transition. Anything holding gravity or attachments, any part of the recognizable, familiar, and the self will all be stripped away.. Dont try and bring it with you. 

This is all happening too quickly, I have no time to adjust, its very difficult to resist giving into your own amazement. To categorize anything in DMT is to limit your perception of it, which pulls you out of hyperspace into impossible attempts to rationalize. The only interpretation of DMT hyperspace, or these new realities is the purely direct wordless distilled raw experience of it. It is beyond alien, beyond novel, beautiful, and core shattering. All goes out the window, out of this world in DMT space, nothing you have ever learnt, none of your life experiences if of any use whatsoever. You are like a totally helpless newborn baby opening its eyes for the first time in a mix of terrifying awe, shock, joy, fear and disorientation